harassment ... please help

Posted by Chalupa (113 days ago)

I'm having a sexual harassment problem with a n ex...


I broke up with a boyfriend 3 years ago, we never gone well together any way I have no issues since, I always thought will never work between us.

However a couple of times we have met on the street, and a friendly "HI" is always there
as soon as I walk away he started to SMS me, or I’ll get mails from him next day BTW I’m not interested or whatsoever, he got married last year but he never stop communicating, I’m very tired because since I don’t reply to his SMS then it turns verbally abusive, and he insulting me all the time .

last night it happen again, what to do?

I’m feed up of him, I don’t know who to contact for this issue I don’t want to keep receiving this kind of love letters from him (I’m not Interested) I even once I contact the police and they told me that unless is certain amount to sms in certain period of time is not considered harassment


Please help…Any one can tell me who to talk to? Please is getting very ugly, I’m frightened now

Thanks all

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by tigerbay (113 days ago)

Get legal advise from a solictor (or whatever legal representatives they have in HK).
The police often don't want to get involved in any 'domestic' dispute. It is probably one for the courts.

You could threaten to tell his wife and his employer. Or even write to his mum and dad.

Hopefully threats of legal or action and he will back off. But incase it does need legal action, keep a diary of contacts, as this can be used in support of a legal action. Keep all emails and SMS messages, do not delte them.

And just consider yourself lucky that you are not married to this idiot.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by flashback (113 days ago)

I read a report once on this. Usually, the one receiving the messages etc. doesn't respond and it sometimes escalates. Write back and say that you are not interested. When you meet him on the street, say hi, and move on quickly. It sounds to me like you are inadvertantly feeding this because you are polite. Just tell him that you are not interested, and wish him well.

Surprisingly, it usually stops when people get a firm answer. If it continues, then you can see a solicitor. But really, it should come from you first.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by JK in HK (113 days ago)

I agree with flashback. You do need to send a firm but non-controversial note to get it through to him that you are not interested at all. Some people can read the slightest friendliness as interest and cling on to hope. Maybe it is your "friendly" hi that gives him hope. Might be best for you to not acknowledge him if you run into him anymore, or simply nod but not be "friendly". In that note, I would suggest that you indicate that you will inform his employer and family if he carries on. If he still persists, do not hesitate to write to his HR department and/or his family and cc him. While that may anger him more, it should get him to back off. Good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mark_larsen2 (111 days ago)

Go to a lawyer, set up a case. Once he receives the court order he will probably stop altogether. 3 sms is all you need as evidence.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (110 days ago)

OR he will start to harrass you even more!

I am with flashback on this OR being as this has happened to me in the past, I would ask you just one question:

How much is your mental health worth to you?

Is it worth getting a whole new mobile phone number?

*shrug*

The answer was, in my case, pretty clear. I simply changed my number and informed everyone I knew (from my list on previous phone) about the change of number. Of course, I went through the argument in my head "Why should "I" have to be inconvenienced! I am not the one who is harrasing anyone! Why should I have to change MY number???"

Pfft, people like that simply wont stop, explainations and the likes will only serve as validation in their twisted minds that you obviously want to be in touch because you responded. Getting a response is as bad as not getting one, so really, whichever way you respond, you lose.

I would seriously ask you how attached you are to your digits. And yes, in my case I had that previous number for nearly 7 years, so you can imagine, I didnt want to give it up...but the truth of the matter is, my sanity was important. Peace of mind doesnt come cheap...and the fact is, its just a number! You are a person...the digits are just numbers...

*shrug*

Good luck! :o)

JC

(I am based in Hong Kong)