Vasectomy,Tubal Ligation or other Birth control: Survey

Posted by hkchoichoi (375 days ago)

I'm pregnant with #3 - and am thinking long term. I'm curious to know what forms of birth control people are using or if they have opted for more permanent methods. I'm also curious about how many of the men were willing to undergo "getting snipped" and if that has affected them in any way.

1. What form do you use? Why?
2. If you have opted for either tubal ligation or vasectomy, how many children did you have before deciding to do it?
3. Who did it? (husband or wife) What age? Any regrets?

Any other anecdotal details or questions that I should be asking would be great. I'm mostly just thinking...

(I am based in Other)

Posted by hkchoichoi (374 days ago)

no one?

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by crj (374 days ago)

We just had #2.
Currently using condoms.
Can't use the pill as still breast feeding.

BEGGING my husband to get 'the snip'...

THREATENING him too, if we get pregnant again I haven't decided if I would kill him, or divorce him then kill him!

But if I had had a c-section, I would have had my tubes tied at same time, since they were in there already. Since I had natural, and feel I have had enough time in hospital, it is his turn.

He isn't happy about it, but trying to get his head around it... we'll see if/when it happens and I'll let you know.

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by cd (374 days ago)

My husband had the snip last year. He was fine with it, coaching his football team the next morning albeit gently. I however took it very hard, still do. As his wife he couldn't have the op unless I signed the consent form, which I did very reluctantly and with tears rolling down my cheeks, I didn't speak to him for a week. We have 5 kids and in my head I knew we probably wouldn't have another, and money wise its hard enough now, but in my heart I wanted another one and every month I had this tiny bit of hope that maybe this month we may have had an accident..we used 'natural family planning' before. And its taken me a long time to get my head round the fact that that little bit of hopes gone.But I'm getting there, I'm really too old now anyway, I'll just have to wait for the grandchildren!!!
And in case your wondering....having the snip hasn't made any difference to his sex drive or ability!!!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by smsm (374 days ago)

Hi cri...u said cant use the pill as still breastfeeding...could u pls tell me what does that mean..i discussed birthcontrol with my gynaec as i just had my sec baby and she told me take pills to see how my body reacts to prgesterone so that i can for an IUD later...does taking pills affect breasfeeding..do tell me pls..

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by crj (374 days ago)

smsm - you can get some basic info here:
http://kellymom.com/health/meds/birthcontrol.html
And ask your dr.
I am not in a position to give advice on this.

(I am based in Beijing)

Posted by hkchoichoi (373 days ago)

CD and CRJ - thanks for your posts. I was hoping that this would have been a bit more of a hot topic - I'm actually quite keen to hear a number of different opinions.

CD - may I ask how old your husband was? If you were so unsure about it, why did he get it? I'm just wondering what sort of emotions go with vasectomies. Some women believe that a husband with a vasectomy is more likely to cheat (this has been disproven by research).

Also - I read that after 1 year, men should go for the follow up to make sure that all is still functioning well after the vasectomy. The 1% failure rate with it generally comes from men who have NOT had this checkup. Did your husband do his?

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by voiceofreason (373 days ago)

1. if your husband/partner doesn't want to get snipped, best option imho is the Implanon for yourself - available in singapore and manila, and i am sure in other countries around the region. one needle-thin flexible rod inserted into upper arm, good for three years - very convenient. no side effects whatsoever (but am sure everyone is different).

2. my dad got a vasectomy after my younger sibling was born, so mom wouldn't have to go on the pill. as cd says above, and my mother confirmed when i was older: no effect on sex drive. mom was grateful for not having to go on the pill.

(I am based in Manila)

Posted by Cinnsim (372 days ago)

I have two children, and now I use IUD, its called Mirena IUD which can release small amount of progesterone. My gynae said it can be used for 5 years. After insertion of IUD, I don't feel any pain or any different, only my period getting less. I am thinking of going for tubectomy, maybe next year, after my youngest son turn to 2 years old... :))

(I am based in Bangkok)

Posted by cd (372 days ago)

He was 43. Personally I didn't think I should have to give my permission as he's a grown man, and had I refused and then accidently got pregnant then what would that have done to our relationship. I know all what he was saying about expense was true, especially in HK with schooling etc. Just emotionally its been really hard. I never had any ambitions when I was younger, all I wanted was to get married and have kids, which I've achieved, and its very hard to believe that that part of my life is over, I feel redundant.....and old. Its kind of hard to explain, like I've been thrown into middle age without wanting to be there. But I'm slowly getting used to the idea.
You are supposed to go for a sperm test 3 and 6 months after the op, he's been for the 3 month one, still needs to go for the 6month one.
And the chances of it making him cheat has never crossed my mind.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (372 days ago)

my mother was strongly encouraging me to have a tubal ligation when i went in for my last c-section.

i considered it, but decided against it. i felt that i was still too young to make such a decision. (i'm 34.) although i KNOW i shouldn't have any more kids(pregnancy is just way too hard for me), i didn't want to do something that was so final....

my mum and i argued about it(she thought i was being selfish and not thinking of my hubby and all that he had to go through during my last pregnancy).

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ellie55 (372 days ago)

i see your mum is very concerned about her son in law..thats good harmony.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ness (372 days ago)

Three kids, implanon for six years which I had in australia (they last three years each) and that was great, no worries, no periods, no pregnancies. Because you can't get it in HK I now have Mirena which has been almost 10 months. First couple of months some spotting and now nothing. Husband will not get snip - and the pill makes me feel ill. Also bad at remembering to take it. (Baby No 3 was conceived this way just after we had given up trying for a third!!) I'm almost 40 and would love another baby but know that it would never end the craving to hold a squidgy newborn - roll on being a grandparent! Then I can hand them back when they are being difficult.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by cara (372 days ago)

she was more concerned with how another pregnancy would affect my health and my marriage. it is NOT easy spending so much time in a wheelchair or in the hospital with everyone concerned about my well-being and that of the baby...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hkchoichoi (372 days ago)

CD - thanks for your detailed post regarding your husband and whatnot. I also thought that the whole "cheating after vasectomy" thing really ridiculous. I mean - why not before if you were going to do it? But it's actually one of the major concerns of women according to a few of the articles that I read. Which just sounded odd. You're not redundant for sure - your always going to be a mom - and your kids will always need you! (but I have to say - I'm impressed with 5. That is my husband's dream.)

I'm considering Mirena as well. My friend's husband who is an obgyn fertility specialist noticed that his wife was having massive mood swings and ups and downs and just crazy bouts of PMS. he came home one day and said, "honey - let me put this on you" and he said he did it for HIS piece of mind. Evidently for women with bad PMS it is very beneficial. My PMS isn't so bad - but I'd like a pretty foolproof method that doesn't require human thought. (like pills and condoms.)

But my dad, OBGYN that he is has STRONGLY discouraged me from any more children - and thinks that I should just get the tubal. If I have to have a c-section this time - well - I may just do it. (I wonder if I need approval from my husband in the US to do this)

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by ??? (372 days ago)

i read that vasectomies can result in prostate cancer, but i haven't studied it.cd, you are amazing to have 5 kids. I know what you mean about feeling sad when you're not pregnant even if you feel like you're too old. i don't think men would cheat more. some men are just inclined to cheat more when they get older. i knowwhat you mean though.. it's so much fun to be pregnant and have kids. it's hard to let go. i wish i could've had more, but my husband wouldn't go for more than 3.i was one of 6, so that doesn't seem like much. my mom loved it and had money held out, she and my father would've had a dozen.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Okie (368 days ago)

I just had baby #3 last year and had a tubal littigation before discharge. I absolutely have no regrets! I have 3 kids and that's enough for our family. I had pushed my husband (during my last pregnancy) and he eventually agreed to get the snip. However, I knew that he didn't want to do it and didn't feel right about forcing him to have a surgery he didn't want.
Anyway, having the surgery right after the birth is definitely the way to go. You're already crampy from the birth and I honestly didn't have any extra pain from the surgery. My doc went through the navel so there's not even a scare. i love the freedom of not worrying. I hated taking the pill. I had norplant, but didn't like that because my periods were so spotty and I gained tons of weight. I also tried an IUD. Other than very heavy periods it was okay, but I took a fall down a flight of stairs and disloged it. I couldn't believe that could happen, but it did. I guess now I just think that I'm lucky that I didn't rupture my uterus or there would be no baby 2 or 3.
Hope this helps.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Wheelymate (363 days ago)

http://health.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20070709-17616.html

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by hkchoichoi (363 days ago)

oooh - excellent link WM. Must ask dad about it...see what he says.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by Wheelymate (190 days ago)

hkcc....how are things. from your previous replies under pregnancy and fertility, sounds like you're stopping at 3? have you thought further about this thread that you started?

2 more weeks to popping #2...hubby said he's quite happy to get the snip provided there are no negative effects e.g. the prostate cancer scare as mentioned by someone above.
obviously we'll seek specialist advice on this but hoping more can share about their personal experiences. some of you mentioned no effect on sexual ability...any other issues to consider too?

i have to say, i feel very sad that this is it. i'm not even 30 yet but because hubby will turn 44 next year and slaves away at his own business that will make all our lives better, he reckons stopping at 2 is the most practical decision.

he doesn't want me on the pill (he's convinced that long term use of it would not be good) and would prefer not to use condoms so it's either a snip for him or me.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by mumof2boys (189 days ago)

Hi all, I am young just 28 and have two sons, but the stress of raising kids here in small spaces with not a huge income is a real factor for me.
Just accidently forgot to use condoms the other night so now am waiting with baited breath for my period cause my first 2 adorable boys are the results of the ONLY other times in my life I have not been careful.
Tried the pill but I have instanteneous side affects with moods and feeling generally ILL.

How do you go about getting an IUD in Hong Kong?? I'm too young for long term solutions but really want a 5 year break to get on our feet financially as I've just opened a dance studio.

Condoms are fine, but I need a solution that doesn't rely on me thinking in the middle of sex haha. And preferably with no side effects as I think I must be sensitive to the hormones.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (189 days ago)

1. What form do you use? Why?
- My wifes has Mirena IUD. It works but she had bleeding for months and still has the occasional irregular bleeding. Otherwise no issues. Condoms are boooooooooooring.
In a few years when we have finally definitely decided not to have more I'll get snipped. It's less complex for the guy to do it.

2. If you have opted for either tubal ligation or vasectomy, how many children did you have before deciding to do it?
- We intend to have me neutered eventually. We have 2 daighters.
3. Who did it? (husband or wife) What age? Any regrets?
- My wife at 40 has Mirena IUD. No regrets but of course our youngest is only 9 months.

(I am based in Hong Kong)