using the word "no"

Posted by Sashimi Girl (94 days ago)

what is the general consensus on using the word "no"? my plan is to save it for dangerous/urgent situations so it doesn't lose it's effect. am i right? there are other phrases to use like "don't......" or "that's naughty......" etc. i am just interested to hear what other mums and dads do. (bubs is 11 months)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by cara (94 days ago)

the thing is at 11 months their understanding is still somewhat limited, so giving two or three words won't necessarily convey the same meaning as the quick and concise "no". as they get older, i agree completely "no" should be used only when necessary.

for example: instead of saying "don't jump on the bed" you could try "sit down"

although, in practice, it usually comes out "no" anyway... especially when they start to argue back...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ldsllvn (93 days ago)

I find i say "no" a lot to mine two... like Cara said "sit down" - i would probably go "no, darling, dont just on the bed".. no wonder it is their favourite word now! But then I understand all 2 year olds' favouritve word is "no" - whether you use it a lot or not - they will figure out what it means pretty quickly and will use it like it is going out of fashion - so I am thinking - dont worry to much about how much you use it...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MilkMonster Laughs (92 days ago)

We use the word "stop" instead of "no"...followed by what i want him to do.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (92 days ago)

Or use "enough." When we say "stop," we also make the ASL (American Sign Language) sign for "stop," which is very emphatic and adds stress/emphasis on the word "stop."

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by 4G (91 days ago)

I would distract their attention and find something else to do with them, or very gently remove them from the situation , but all the time explaing why you did what you did .
When we explain I think it has more of an effect ,from personal experience.Rather than just shouting no .

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ruth in Canada (91 days ago)

I love Barbara Coloroso's idea. Say 'Yes, later.' if they want something you don't want them to have.
Move everything higher in your home until they can handle breakables. Childproofing!
Never say the child is naughty or bad...say what they did was bad or naughty.
If they are biting you, give them something to chew on, for example. eg This is for biting, not mummy.
Be logical, take your time, don't punish, but do discipline(which means teach)

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by axptguy38 (90 days ago)

There's "no" and "no". If you smile and laugh or frown and look mad the effect is quite different.


"Be logical, take your time, don't punish, but do discipline(which means teach)"

Oh yes. Having said that we do punish now that #1 is over 2 years. Happens very rarely though. No more than once a week but it's tapered off now that she has learned to be nice to #2. Also punishment is only a time-out. No beatings.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Nashua852 (86 days ago)

Hubby and I were talking about this the other day.

Bub is mixed, so we decided that since there's no getting around using 'no' in every day conversation for major infractions ;) we'll use the arabic word 'la'. It's a theory, we'll see how it plays out in a couple of years (he's only a few months old hehe)

Also, yes can be just as defiant as no;

"Mummy can I have this toy"

"No, not today sweetie"

"YES, yes yes yes!

We're glad our youngest sibling decided to grow up since

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (86 days ago)

my son is all about "i want"
his best friend is all about "i don't want"

one is as essentially bad as the other, although we are making headway with the "that is not a nice way to talk/ask. please ask me again nicely." to which i get "please, mummy dear, can i have...."

(I am based in Hong Kong)