Tomorrow wife is having a D&C -help pls

Posted by Husband in HK (416 days ago)

Hi All,

Tomorrow my wife is having a D&C and I'd like to hear from any women/husbands who have been through this to help me support my wife over the following days and weeks, any advice is appreciated.

This was our first pregnancy and we made it until week 9 before it was discovered (yesterday) that the fetus' heart had stopped. My wife is 44 which makes this doubly hard for as as we know the chances of another pregnancy are slim.

Many thanks in advance

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (416 days ago)

Hi there.

I was in the same situation. I just miscarried last week with the same reasons as your wife...my baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and i was supposedly 12 weeks - it was also my first...

Do you really want to do the D&C? I planned to do that, but the doctor said i shud try to have the medical induction instead - it was pretty quick, i did it at QMH and the plan was to have one dose every 3 hours for 3 doses...after the 2nd dose, my contractions started and everything came out soon after..they then observed me for the rest of the day and then allowed me to go home..it's just kind of traumatic when u hv a lot of blood coming.

Doctors also told me that by doing the D&C theres a possibility that the uterus might get some damage - so best to leave that as the last resort..

I do hope you're both doing well. It's tough, but please know that you're not alone in this.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Husband in HK (416 days ago)

Many thanks, I didn't realise there were other options, we were told leave it to 'expel' naturally or D&C. I'll inquire tomorrow at the hospital, thank you

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by simplythebest (416 days ago)

First sorry for your loss. What a great hubby you must be to come here to get info!

I was about 10 weeks along I think. Don't know your doctor but I was with Dr. Ho. I had super major cramps (a lot of pain like childbirth!) and he said I needed a D&C and I didn't argue or really question it.

I'm sure you're already giving your wife all the support she needs. We had a short rest, got over the shock fairly quickly, and tried again! Miscarriages are quite common and remember it is nature's way and probably for the best. We were told that we could pretty much start ttc fairly soon. It was a month or two I think but emotionally I think you need to be ready. It's different for everyone.

We never gave up and now have a one year old daughter who we are so thankful for everyday!

I read after a miscarriage and when you fall pregnant again, it will be the same due date. It's true! Happened to me.

best of luck,

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by mrsl (415 days ago)

So sorry for your loss. I've had 2 D&Cs and both have been followed by successful pregnancies. The procedure is very fast and pretty painless. There is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster that follows, but all you can do is be there for one another (which you clearly are) and take each day as it comes. Just allow yourselves time and you will know when you are ready to try again. Take care.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Havefaith (415 days ago)

I had a m/c last year. My husband was there for me - he did not really need to do much - he was just there. The whole episode brought us closer together and we love each other even more.

I had a suction and evacuation procedure to remove the embryo - It was not a good idea - ended up having blood clots that needed to be removed 2 weeks later.

Havefaith

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mother_2005 (415 days ago)

husband in HK, sorry about your loss. when hubby and i lost the baby last year at 20 weeks gestation, it was the worse day of our lives. my husband was really supportive. we cried together many many nights, so dont be afraid to cry with her. i basically think that woman needs more time to recover emotionally than men, probably because they are the one carrying the baby ( no offend ). so be patient with her, i know you are mourning too and it must have been hard for you as well. after the miscarriage, hubby took me to singapore with him on business trip and i shopped till i dropped. so a holiday together may be nice for both of you. the thought of trying again soon helps in a way. you are being a great husband already just by caring so much and making the effort to come to this site.

(I am based in Hong Kong)