First time Moms over 35

Posted by Geezom (342 days ago)

Hi,

Hubby and I are thinking about when to have a baby. I'm 37 and have concerns about everything from getting pregnant to Downs syndrome (not to mention anything in between)if we wait much longer.

Can any first time Moms over 35 share their experiences and the concerns they had. Just wondering if I'm being too paranoid. Thanks!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by waffle_hk (340 days ago)

Best to talk with an OB. A lot depends on your general health and lifestyle as well as genetic factors.
I was 35 with my first and had a textbook pregnancy - not a hint of a complication. Although I've heard the risk increases after 36.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Havefaith (340 days ago)

Geezom,

Is there any reason why you want to wait?

HF

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mscheerful (339 days ago)

I had mine one month b4 turning 43 and is a textbook pregnancy too. My baby is now 6 months old. FYI, i had two m/c 6 years ago so this Blessed One is a long wait!

Nothing to fear.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by squiggles (339 days ago)

had my first at 38 - no problems whatsoever. had an amnio which was absolutely fine. am pregnant with second at 40. again, amnio showed no signs of downs.

please don't let the fear of Downs cloud your fear on getting pregnant. so many of my friends were over 35 when they got preggers the first time, and not one of them had a problem with Downs. to be honest, the actual conception and maternal health is probably more of an issue with the over 35s!

good luck! don't wait any longer - having children is truly wonderful!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Foolonahill (338 days ago)

Agree, do not wait. I am 41 & the wife is 39. She was incredibly fertile 10 years ago & got pregant very easily. Now trying for another one (her kids are my step kids) & her fertility is very low (mine isn't much better). Do not delay as every month your fertility will be reducing. Get to the OB, get some Folic Acid into your hubby (and yourself) and get into the bedroom!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Geezom (338 days ago)

Thanks everyone for your replies! The reason we're thinking of waiting is because we have a lot going on right now (work, finances, etc). We're still talking about it so hopefully we'll make a decision sooner rather than later. Thanks again.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by squiggles (338 days ago)

someone told me once that if everyone waited until they were rich enough to have babies then there would never be any! also, there's never a right time as something else will always come up.

when people have babies they cope - they cope with the finances, and they cope with their jobs.

and you also have to consider that you need to get your body ready too - pregnancy may not come easy and so you may plan to have your bubba next year, but in reality, if you don't get preggers straight away, then it could be two years away etc....just think carefully about it.

if children are in both your futures, then defo sooner rather than later. mother nature doesn't always work the way you want! good luck!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by simplythebest (337 days ago)

i'm a "mature" mum and one of the few people on here who didn't have a textbook pregnancy. but you can see from your responses it's not the norm.

i would say don't wait too long and don't worry about birth defects and what not. don't let that stop you! but suggest an amino..

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Scuba chick (336 days ago)

37 is not too old. But don't wait and don't start trying without seeing a Dr. Get checked out and have your fertility and your husbands checked now!
I had my first at 38 and I am single. If you wait for the perfect time (even for the perfect man) it will be too late.
I was very lucky and had a text book pregnancy as well. did not do an amnio. My Dr didn't really recommend it. And it only checks for down syndrome and can't check for everything.
Go for it, enjoy the process and the time being pregnant and you will love the time with your child even more.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kiwimmc (334 days ago)

Sorry Scuba chick you are incorrect - amniocentisis checks for downs and nearly all chromosomal disorders including trisome 13 and 18 and sex chromosome abnormalities (eg turners and klinefelter).
Also genetic disorders like cystic fibrosis, sickle cell and tay sachs
And nureal tube like spina bifida.

It can not detect cleft palate, heart malformations. These are sometimes highlighted in the 2nd trimester ultrasound.

Your chances of having a healthy pregnancy into your 40s is higher than not (eg at 40 yrs old 1/100 of Downs so 99 chances of not). However sooner you start probably the better.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sub (332 days ago)

There will never be a perfect time - don't wait.

We thought we were "kind of" in the right time - then as soon as I was pregnant work situation got even worse - typical. But luckliy I was already pregnant and things now could not be better (kids no 6 and 4).

Don't try to predict the timing - just do it. It will work out absolutely fine.

And you can get back to work later if that is what you want - just allow 9 months plus another possible 3 to 12 months of feeling like an alien took over your body before they give it back to you (you learn to do everything with one arm, carrying the baby in the other - it is a strange feeling to get your arms and boobs back to yourself!) Then you sadly miss that extension of yourself as they become little thinking people.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Geezom (332 days ago)

Thanks everyone for all your responses. I'll let you know what we decide and how things turn out.

(I am based in Hong Kong)